A Grand Day Out

We were at the school film club on the Monday after the cup final. 'The Full Monty' was showing. About half an hour into the movie my wife hissed at me,

"Stop singing!"

"I'm not", I protested (quietly).

"Yes you are. You're singing the Hearts song."

Oops! So I was. Still, who could blame me?

[Scene of clock with hands whirling backwards, pages flying back on to a calendar - slow dissolve]

Saturday morning dawned warm and bright. Isn't it strange how all cup Saturdays dawn warm and bright? Obviously a good time to take your holidays (Unless of course you're a Hearts supporter and your team is in the cup final).

I'd arranged to meet my brother Eric at the Log Cabin in Edisholm Street in Baillieston. Neither of us had ever been there before. How was I to know that there are two Edisholm Streets in Baillieston? Well, we found each other in the end.

Drove to Parkhead. Parked on a single yellow line on the main road (well, so had everyone else). A supporter of the Ibrox millionaires tapped on the window,

"You'se hud better no park here, if the polis dinnae tow ye away, some fenian bastard will pit yer windae in! Find yersel a nice wee scheme doon the road and the people in the hooses'll watch it fur you."

Thanking him profusely, we ignore his advice and park in a side street in the last space. A tubby youngster approaches us in a Manchester City away strip (obviously attempting to stay neutral and convince us that he is simple); "Watch yer car mister?" Hm, I've heard about this but never actually had to deal with it. Why for two pins I'd... no, on second thoughts, pay him the money. Off to the game, plenty of colourful characters around, plenty of slagging with Rangers fans, sun still blazing down.

A colourful character

Close to the ground, there's a small girl playing the bagpipes rather well. A burly gent in a Hearts home strip seizes the pipes from her and plays them rather better (I've got the photographic evidence but I can't be bothered to present it here) - possibly a harbinger of success? Time will tell.

Jolly impressive

This is the first time I've been to the new Parkhead and I have to say that it's jolly impressive. Legions of fans outside the gate begging and pleading for tickets. Sorry guys, better luck next time. Big crush of people at the back of the stand, everyone good humoured but slightly nervous. Horses fed up with being patted. by the Jambos. Too much of a good thing!

Can Hearts Win the Cup?

Finally we're in. Big climb right to the top of the stand, spending ages trying to find our seats - Sweat pouring off me because it's so hot right at the top under the roof - Just got my breath back and they're off. Stevie Fulton bursts into the box, THE B******S, THEY'VE CHOPPED HIM!..... PENALTY! YES! A Hearts player (can't see which one, I'm at the other end) steps up and cooly thumps it into the top right hand corner. One - Nil, only eighty nine minutes to go...

1 - 0 up and already we're celebrating!

Hearts defence is playing magnificently, Rangers just can't find a way through. Anytime one of them gets the ball two Hearts players pounce on him and clear it away, even Laudrup has the shackles on. Rousset is rock solid. We're only playing two up front, McCann and Adam, and our last passes aren't too good so they're not seeing much of the ball. - Half an hour gone, no sweat, we're well in control, Rangers are down to (poor) long range shooting -

Magnificent save by Rousset! Clawing to his right at full stretch, pushes a well struck free kick round the post. The workmen who are constructing the stand behind the Hearts goal are standing around in hard hats retrieving the ball when Rangers miss the target. They're getting a lot of exercise! - Half time 1-0.

The girl in front of me has had her hair dyed maroon for the day, she tells me "I've waited a long time to see them win the cup." I tell her, "I've waited longer!" We're off again - a long free kick from Rousset finds Adam and a Rangers defender both going for it. Adam gets his head to it, nods it on and leaves the defender for dead. He's on the right side of the box and cuts in.

A   Jamborette

The players finish celebrating Adam's goal

Nobody to pass to and the angle's too narrow for a shot surely. He shoots anyway, Goram gets a hand to it... suddenly it's bouncing in the back of the net, up and down, up and down, having dropped lazily over the line. All the Hearts players rush to the corner flag right in front of me and there's a pile of wriggling bodies, wildly hugging each other. I turn to Eric, 'That's it, we've won now". He's a realist, "Don't say that!"

More of the same, then suddenly a ball into the front of the box, McCoist pounces, drills in a low shot, the Rangers fans let out a sudden huge roar. 2-1. Never mind we're still ahead. - Ten minutes to go, the pressure's building but we're still looking reasonably comfortable. McCoist bursts through again, same place, he goes down.. OH NO IT'S HEAD IN THE HANDS TIME AGAIN! PENALTY SURELY! I can't see the ref, there's a pillar in the way. Eric says

"No! It's a free kick." It can't be, it is! Laudrup makes another hash of it and shoots against the wall. - Five minutes to go, The girl in front of me turns and faces the back, she can't bear to watch anymore. Eric and I know all about disappointment - we can take it when it comes... a look at the watch, 5 minutes of injury time played! "Come on ref, blow that *%@+#* whistle!" I looked around me at that point, 22,000 fans all with haggard faces, all thinking the same thing... Blow that *%@+#* whistle!

This is much more serious than life or death

Suddenly the players arms go up in the air, the entire Hearts support erupts, that's it! We've actually won! - Mass hysteria breaks out. - Robbo lifts the cup and gets the longest, loudest cheer of all.

Mass hysteria breaks out

More mass hysteria

When the Hearts went up to lift the Scottish Cup, we were there...

Congratulations and celebrations...

Back to the car, it's still there (well I did pay the protection money). Going along the M8, it's like Princess Di's funeral, from Livingston onwards there are fans by the side of the road and on the bridges waving their scarfs, cars honking their horns. - At Tynecastle, there's an enormous street party going on ..... Stan and I turn our backs to have our photograph taken just in time to miss the team bus arriving back from Glasgow.

Stan and I missing the bus

Then it's back to Manchester, getting in at 1.00 am. My wife asks,

"Well, what was it like?"

I tell her,

"After our wedding day, it was the best day of my life!"

I lied

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